Private writing:
I used to write in my personal journal very often, usually releasing subject matter I feel the need to put into words, but for my eyes only. I plan on writing more often and maybe trying to branch out and not be so secretive. It helps to share personal experiences that might be sensitive; it not only helps the writer but also others who can relate.

In writing in this course, certain issues of craft that I wanted to work on, writing process, description:
I have found that I have a nice flow in my writing, but sometimes need to either cut down on details or elaborate them. I still have problems finding an even balance with details, I like to include many aspects in my stories so that the reader can really see what happened or how I felt. Sometimes it is easier to understand without writing everything out directly.

Writers workshop, group:
I would like to say I’m interested in continuing writing, I do enjoy it and I like putting my experiences into words- but to be realistic I am so busy with other classes and 2 jobs. Writing is important to me and I’m sure I could make the time if I am driven and determined enough.

Writing in my profession:
I like to write about my job and the children I have worked with, I think those experiences make my best essays. I have been encouraged by others for a few years now to write a book solely based on the children I have worked with because I have had some very unique experiences. Since I have and work with so many different children my memory of each child is already getting hazy, I would love to preserve my memories through my writing so I can reflect and share with others. I believe all teachers should keep a journal about their students.

For my own interests:
As I stated above I would love to write all about the kids I work with. I would also like to write more memoir type essays for one I would like to write about being adopted. Being adopted has shaped who I am and my family, I have had a unique life journey that would be very nice to share.

Long term/short term plans for publishing:
If I could write about my kids and or personal memoirs in a finished way I would love to have them published. I have had many issues with trust and being extremely secretive growing up and I am slowly but surely opening up and letting others in without so much fear.

#16

What is the most important thing I learned about writing in this course?
I learned that there are many categories that fall under the umbrella of creative writing non-fiction. Such as literary journalism, memoir, personal essays, rhetorical analysis, nature essays, reflective pieces. I learned about using some helpful tools within my writing that expand and explore my essays such as using journal entries.

What did I learn from one of my papers?
In my memoir I used an old journal entry from my hand written journal, it helped to shed some insight into my past and make my situation clearer. Segmenting my writing made my essay more clear and helped it to flow without having to write out word for word what I wanted to get across.

Which essay was the hardest to write and why?
I got very hung up on my nature essay which I originally thought would be one of the easiest. I have a ton of incredible stories that I have encountered which have been in the outdoors. This essay proved to be difficult because it had to take place in the present, I couldn’t re-tell an experience. It had to be as if it were happening right now. I currently bounce from work to school to home, a rigid routine that does not include the outdoors except walking to and from my car and building to building.

Which essay pushed me most as a writer?
My memoir is the piece I am most proud of, mostly because it is about an experience that is so incredibly important to me and I’m thankful that it happened. The story pushed me as a person and helped me to move on and let go, writing about it brought back feelings of pride and ambition. I had often recounted this story to my family and close friends, but putting it down into words made it even more real and each time I read it I can feel as if it is happening all over again.

What do I want to write about for my reflective essay, my relationship and process to writing? Some observation for how my process worked.
I will be writing about my memoir which I refer to so often because I am proud of it.What don’t I want to write about in my reflective essay and why?I do not want to write about my nature essay, firstly because I am not proud of it which makes it painful to read. My nature essay to me isn’t even about nature, it is about my mundane daily routine which I do not dislike per say, but it is such a routine that I don’t want to relive it anymore than I have to.

# 15 Answers to Q's about my writing process

How did I start?
I ran a list in my head of experiences that had happened to me recently and instances that I grew personally from. I wrote down a couple of ideas and expanded on them briefly, then later chose the story that I felt I had the most to say about and wanted to share with others.

How did you choose your focus?
I pride myself on being driven to pursue my teaching career and working with special children. I wanted my focus to highlight my love for working with my campers, but also how it can be difficult to do so successfully when my thoughts were pre-occupied with my personal life. There is nothing I am more passionate about than working with teens with autism and I was almost horrified with myself for letting my focus slip when a man was not giving me the attention I desired. My focus is my turning point of when I let go of my personal hang-ups and fully zoned in to what made me truly happy.

What did I leave out? what did I change? what did I emphasize?
I left out details of my relationship from the previous summer, I don’t like to this about it often because it is still painful. Rejection always hurts so I was reluctant in pouring out the truly good times we spent together. I didn’t change anything which now that I think about it I probably should change some names, I would be very embarrassed if my essay fell onto the eyes of who I wrote about. I wanted to emphasize the relationship I have with my campers more so than the relationship with my co-worker that went sour. My campers are truly inspiring and I did not want my essay to revolve around the wrong character.

Where did I get stuck and how did I get unstuck?
I got stuck with arranging my segments. I know I needed to include background history before any reader could understand what I was talking about. I wanted to do it in a way that wasn’t so straight forward so I did it with an journal entry I wrote. This gave my audience just a taste of history without being so blunt.

What were my major revisions?
My major revisions took place during my last paragraph, tying the story together. I had to write it and re-write it a bunch of times in order to give my story meaning and reflection. It originally was very unclear and sort of just ended without any direction.

How did my life (not on the page) affect my writing process?
My life is made up of very similar daily routines that do not change much from week to week. I work every morning in a day care, I go straight to school, go home and work with 2 different boys twice a week in the afternoons. I have enough pockets of time to write and do my work although it is often stressful, but who can honestly say they don’t have stress in their life. My writing process was not affected negatively or positively by my daily routines.

Where and when did I write my best? What time?
I write my best during the day, I seem to need daylight to stay focused. Once nighttime falls I am tired and cannot focus as well in getting any type of work done. I write mostly during small breaks at home between work and school. I am good at sitting down and getting what I need to say out, I don’t do so well in starting and stopping – I tend to lose focus and forget main points I want to hit on.

What writing rituals did I engage in?
Journaling, free-writing, getting messy ideas out with any detail I can think of.

How did I use thinking, talking and writing to develop my paper?
I reflected upon my experience and thought about all the small details that went into my story. I did some free-writing to get everything out so I wouldn’t forget anything. I did not do much talking about my story with others besides in class. Working together in my group helped because we found that we all had a similar story regarding being a girl and how a man negatively affected our lives. (to put it frankly)

How did I know when I was finished and how did I decide where to start?
I knew I was finished when my whole story came together with the reflection. The reflection was the hardest to get out in words. I could physically feel my reflection and how it changed me but I found it difficult to convey this to others. I decided to start from the middle of my experience, if I had started from the very beginning it would be too long and most likely lost my audience with too many details.

#14

My memoir: Summer Skin

1. Reflection. I reflected on experiences that were powerful and meaningful to me, but could also prove to be inspiration for others. I wanted to write about an experience that happening more recently to make it fresh and relatable.

2. Free writing / brainstorming. I write best in journal like writing, I let messy thoughts flow with no true rhyme or reason. I let everything that pops into my head out even if I’m unsure if I will use it. I like to include everything such as the music I listened to at the time, the weather, my personal appearance, thoughts, the way the air felt, people, dates, time, location- everything.

3. Outline / re-write. I will read over my free writing and choose the most important pieces and work on them first. Secondly I will arrange smaller details and interject them under the larger key aspects. I will also look though my hand written journal to see if any entries can be useful.

4. Rough draft. I will tidy up my previous writings and connect them so they flow as evenly as I can at the time. I will also place journal entries if they help my piece and work well.

5. “Peer review.” I will often ask my friends or mother to give me feedback on my ideas. I usually do not let them read my writing, especially on this piece because it is personal to me. Speaking about my ideas allowed with others helps me to know if I have a strong or weak piece.

6. Final. I will put everything together, my main focus, details, journal entries and re-read it many times to make sure everything makes sense. If it doesn’t make sense to me then it won’t make sense to anyone else.

How did you choose your focus?
I pride myself on being driven to pursue my teaching career and working with special children. I wanted my focus to highlight my love for working with my campers, but also how it can be difficult to do so successfully when my thoughts were pre-occupied with my personal life. There is nothing I am more passionate about than working with teens with autism and I was almost horrified with myself for letting my focus slip when a man was not giving me the attention I desired. My focus is my turning point of when I let go of my personal hang-ups and fully zoned in to what made me truly happy.

How did you organize your essay?
I opened my essay as if my story was happening during the present time, although it took place last June in the summer of 2007. I gave details of where I was, my fears, and thoughts. I then present a flashback to the previous summer where I have a conversation with the person whom my essay features. This gives some insight and background to help my audience learn whom I speaking to, and our past together. I give detailed accounts of my days at camp and interject a personal journal entry from my hand written journal. I segment my essay in a way that the audience can easily follow and grasp my growth throughout my writing.

Did you use journal entries?
Yes, I used a journal entry that I had written in my personal hand written journal. The entry was dated June 28, 2007- which was written in the very beginning of my experience. It helps to show my hurt and betrayal from a man who I thought I knew so well. It also emphasizes my pre-occupation with him and how it hindered my relationship with my campers.

How did you discover what you had to say?
I discovered my reflection simply by free writing and reflecting on each day that led up to my ability let go. My ‘letting go’ experience was so emotional that I wanted to be able to capture the feelings with words down to the last detail. The experience left me tearfully empowered and I want my readers to be able to see and feel this.

Literary Journalism

I have been working with children and teens with autism in many different settings since I was 16 years old. Currently at 22, my knowledge, interest, and experience with autism is continuously growing and expanding. Autism is a relatively new diagnosis and a mysterious disorder; I want to look into the causes or reasons for autism. I am especially interested in hearing from others within the community and learning from their opinions and perspectives. Autism spectrum disorders are a group of neurological developmental disorders that impair a person’s ability to communicate with and relate to other people. Characteristic behaviors include impairment in communication and social relationships, restricted behavior patterns, rigid routines, and repetitive behaviors. Autism is found in all racial and social groups, although it is four times more likely to effect boys than girls.

Personal Interviews

Interview I

My first interview was with one of my closest friends as well as my co-worker, Domenic Longobardi. We have worked as a team at a special needs sleep away camp (Ramapo for Children) for the past three summers. We specifically work with teenage boys, all who are functioning on different levels on the autistic spectrum. Domenic is 21 years old and a special education major at the University of Southern Connecticut. He is currently a member of Best Buddies where he volunteers to spend time with a 51 year old autistic man. We are both actively involved within the autism community throughout the year.

When discussing the possible causes of autism, the common theme that we both agreed on is the theory of genetics. Surprisingly before the summer we both did not have a firm stance on the cause of where the disorder came from. With the completion of the summer we have become firm believers in that the cause of autism can be found in genetics. Having met the parents of every autistic boy we worked with, we felt that many of the family members shared some autistic qualities. None of them were nearly as severe, but being so familiar with the spectrum we were able to recognize the characteristics. Many of the fathers could easily been seen as having Asperger’s Syndrome. Asperger Syndrome is a form of autism where the individual has social and communicative impairments, but has fluent language and good academic ability.

Domenic recalled an example on visiting day involving the father of our camper, Joey. Joey’s father marched into the bunk and shoved a plastic bag of food into Dom’s arms. He made no eye contact and said “This is from Joey,” he then turned around and walked right back out, forgetting to greet his son. To the untrained eye this could have been a strange instance, but to Dom and I it was a classic socially awkward “Asperger like” moment. We are not saying genetics is the definite answer of this mysterious disorder, but from what we have encountered the correlation is high.

Interview II

Bernardo Pace

My second interview was with Bernardo Pace, a self-proclaimed autism enthusiast. Bernardo has a 15 year old non-verbal autistic teenage daughter named Gina, who has been going to Ramapo for many years. Bernardo talked to me about his Gina in detail, starting from when she was a seemingly ‘normal’ baby. Gina developed typically as an infant and for the first two and a half years of her life she was interactive as well as verbal. Bernardo and his family moved around this time and began to see Gina withdraw significantly, less eye contact and speech. Knowing nothing about autism he thought that this was just how Gina was reacting to her new situation and surroundings; a reaction in which language did not work for her anymore, anywhere. That summer they spent a lot of time at the beach, a familiar family vacation spot. During this time Gina seemed to spring back, using some words and interacting with her parents. Bernardo realizes now that in retrospect she was in a situation in which very few social and communicative demands were being asked of her. After that summer Gina withdrew again and has remained more or less this way ever since.

As a concerned parent Bernardo learned everything he could about autism, making it his personal duty to help not only his daughter, but to also help and educate the whole community. Presently, in addition to working with Gina at home doing an ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) program, he has been a coach to other children with autism for the past 9 years. Bernardo is a great source of information and support to Ramapo for Children. He works with the camp counselors to help them effectively manage and advocate for campers with autism. His work also helps other campers to better understand and support their autistic friends in their bunks. “For me, it’s rewarding to help kids who have a steep climb in life and have such a hard time in so many ways to discover a hidden talent, to find a new activity, a new source of pleasure; to find themselves unexpectedly in a position where praise is being heaped upon them.”

Interview III

Lawrence

My final and most interesting interview was with Lawrence aka ‘LJ’ a 16 year old teen with high functioning autism. LJ has been my camper for the past 3 summers at Ramapo and I have seen him grow and mature immensely. Lawrence lives in Brooklyn, NY and attends a public school, and learns in a self-contained classroom. In the year of 2005, LJ went through a very rough period of time where he seemingly could not control his impulsive, dangerous, and often violent outbursts. His parents decided to take him off all medication and focus on other behavior therapies. This past summer of 2007 LJ has almost shed all of his inappropriate outbursts and in his words has “become a calm man.”

LJ is a very interesting individual to me, his verbal expressive language is phenomenal, although he frequently pretends that he cannot speak. It took a lot of prompting and pushing for me to get him to talk to me honestly. As with many individuals with autism they often pretend that they do not understand and limit their abilities, much like most typical teenage boys do. I asked Lawrence directly what autism meant to him. He said “Ramapo is for the autistic kids, Ramapo is autistic.” In asking him to explain further he began talking about high functioning and low functioning. He did not tell me directly what those terms meant, but he did even better by giving me examples. LJ has an excellent memory, he told me of a time where he himself was being very ‘low functioning.’ One year LJ’s father took a different route than normal to get to camp by taking the NY State Throughway. Lawrence, accustomed to routine was very upset about the different highway and had a tantrum in the car. “I was being low functioning with all that crying and hitting Daddy and that damn NY Throughway, I needed the Taconic State Parkway.” He said that when they take the Taconic he is high functioning, happy, and calm.

I have taken a lot of one on one time with LJ to practice appropriate behaviors through modeling, in a way that he can relate. Loud noises tend to aggravate and distract him, although the whole world is one big loud noise to Lawrence, he seems to hear things I can’t as hard as I try. Often Lawrence will tell me that he needs space when he talks to me, he says that my eyelashes are loud. “Jessie your eyelashes are loud and they hurt my ears.” At first I thought these sayings were nonsense, through exploration of autism I realized that in fact blinking my eyes could be distracting to him; due to his extreme heightened senses.

When involved with activities that are ‘too loud’ LJ will ask if he can take some personal space. This was a big issue that we worked on together. Previously LJ would have aggressive outbursts when he was overloaded and over-stimulated. He learned how easy it is so be open and clearly say “Jessie I need personal space, can I sit outside?” Or if he is really on edge he will hold his ears, make a painful expression with his face and look to me, without saying a word I will nod my head and he can leave. LJ loves to write, draw, and make lists with markers and paper so I gave him his own notebook to carry around. This is another outlet he can ask for if he is not feeling comfortable. The notebook has been such a success that he relates it to being a mature and grown up man. “Writing in my notebook and being a flexible man is high functioning.”

#13 Final Rhetorical Analysis for Publication

LaChancePublishing.com

1. Analysis of the editorial description of essays accepted
See http://www.lachancepublishing.com/guidelines.html

Explores the experiences of friends, family, and caregivers to those coping with various diseases; and/or physical/mental illnesses. Stories submitted are intended to share the struggles of disease, but provide inspiration as well.
Welcome non-fiction personal essays and stories—500 word minimum, 2,000 words maximum.

Submission deadlines:
Autism - January 31, 2008
Care Giving – December 31, 2007
Multiple Sclerosis – February 28, 2008
Bipolar disorder – March 31, 2008
Childhood Cancer – April 31, 2008
Diabetes – May 31, 2008
Heart disease – May 31, 2008
Parkinson’s disease – June 30, 2008

2. Description of several representative essays published in your venue:
This site allows you to read only two stories/submissions because the submissions accepted have been made into a book. In order to read the rest you must purchase the book.
“Elisabeth” by Misha Segal
“The Art of Memory and Belonging” by Tovli Simiryan
Subject matter:
A true story of a son writing about his mother’s battle with lung cancer.
A true story of a woman writing about her mother who struggled to learn English due to Alzheimer’s.

Voice: First person, narration, reflecting and detailed account of loved one’s struggles with disease.Philosophical reflecting – this site seeks stories that inform, give insight, provide inspiration, courage or comfort to those in need.Form (modes of writing/experimental) description, narration.

Artistry: these essays are more focused on providing hope and inspiration by being beautifully but honestly written.

Themes: recurring phrase “That was mama.”

Length: 500 word minimum, 2,000 words maximum.

3. Niche/audience - the general public and anyone who has been affected by illness.

Purpose - The “Voices Of” anthologies provide first-person essays offering support, perspective, insight and information to everyone touched by life threatening or chronic disease.

4. Other
FORMAT:
Microsoft Word Times New Roman,
12-point Left justified margins
Double spaced
Spell-checked/proofread
No electronic submissions
Replies within 16 weeks
Publishes about 20 essays every year
If admitted you can win up to $200

Required:
Place your name, address, telephone number and email address at the beginning of your story.
Required: Place your brief bio at the end of the story as you would like it to appear in the published work.

Be aware that if you are writing about another person’s life or experiences and your story is accepted for publication, you will be asked to provide a permission form from that person or from the legal representative of that person, whether alive or deceased.

#11 [B]Nature essay

At first glance this does not appear to be a nature essay, keep reading!

Every weekday morning I open the nursery at 8:30 promptly. My uniform consists of black stretch work out pants, a black t-shirt with the red and white Parisi Speed School logo on the back, and sneakers. I like that I get to wear soft comfy clothes as my ‘uniform.’ I work in the nursery within a fitness gym, where mothers drop off their children while they get in up to 2 hours of cardio and Pilates.

From the outside one would think I worked in a stuffy office building. Once I open the blacked out double doors the pumping upbeat music vibrates under my feet and a gust of air conditioning hits. I quickly mumble “Morning Joe” to the guy who is always behind the desk. I barely make eye contact and wonder, does he ever leave?! The track is to my right where young athletes train to improve their speed. The track itself is a light brown color surrounded by green asphalt in attempt to give the feeling of the outdoors. Making my way past the elliptical and treadmills I wave hello to the ladies trying to shed their baby weight. Turning to the left I hear the grunts of men with popping muscles furiously doing reps with intimidating barbells.

In the far corner all the way down the hall tucked into the back is the nursery. The door is made of glass which shows tiny smudgy hand and face prints towards the bottom. I flip on the light switch and the room is illuminated with neon bright white light, which is an awful contrast paired with the pale yellow walls. If I’m lucky I will have 5 minutes to myself where I can set up the sign in sheet, wipe down the tables [I never trust that this room is cleaned], and hide as many Barney videos as I can. I understand children love Barney, but if I hear those awful songs one more time I might scream. Putting The Sound of Music and Annie on display I cross my fingers in hopes that one of them will be picked.

The door opens while I’m still hiding videos, Elly comes running in rambling in a high pitched voice. Her mother is behind her holding baby Adrienne looking as if she has already put in a full days work. The girls are quickly signed in, the baby is handed over to me, and before I can wish their mother a good workout she is gone. Adrienne is about 7 months old with blue eyes, chubby cheeks, fair skin, and almost no hair- the epitome of androgynous babies. I wish I could take them outside its a sunny crisp morning. Unfortunatley there is no place to take them just a recently paved parking lot accompanied by a 4 lane busy Jersey road. The room is windowless so the door serves as our peak into the outside. Although darkened windows with thick blinds drawn hardly do us any justice. “Elly do you want to color? Watch a video?” I grabbed The Sound of Music, balanced Adrienne on my hip, and placed the tape into the VCR. I glance at Elly, she jumps up and down while yelling “Barney!!” I explain we’re watching a new video and try to distract her with different pictures to scribble on. Being 3 years old she happily follows directions as long as I talk with an excited voice.

With Elly coloring pictures and half of the little white table I sit on a mat in the corner with baby Adrienne. Every since I was 4 years old and my baby brother was brought home I adored babies and dreamed of being a mommy. I love when Adrienne grabs my finger for dear life. Her dimpled small hands with teeny tiny finger nails are beautiful to me. I lean against the wall and realize this is my favorite spot in the room, sitting with a baby under the large painted tree.

The tree is painted as if the roots were growing from the nubby blue carpet on the nursery floor. The yellow wall peers through the visible paint strokes of the bark. I hadn’t taken the time to wonder what kind of tree this was supposed to be and it is clear that the artist didn’t either. With a thick trunk made of interchangeable light and brown tones the branches reach out to the surrounding walls. Forest green oval shaped leaves adorn the thick branches, popping out without stems or reason. Looking up towards the ceiling an electrical outlet is supposed to be camouflaged, painted green and brown. How odd, why would there be an outlet all the way up there?

Upon examination I realize this is a pathetic attempt to recreate nature, but then again maybe the work is faulty because it is for children. The children of Parisi are too young to care about what type of tree is painted on their wall, all that matters is if they can identify what it is. I find this corner comforting because I have a clear view of the whole room where I can supervise, but relax with a child as well. This is the corner where I bounce and coo the babies and where I do story time with the toddlers. I have been drawn to this tree without recognizing its importance. Her imagined shade in this neon yellow room is comforting. I yearn for the outdoors daily, being inside the nursery I have been unknowingly sitting beneath what I crave.